I'm a Survivor!
A couple of weeks ago,
I like many Americans, was watching the Super Bowl. This year, in the midst of all the funny and
big budget commercials was a public service announcement about domestic
violence. They played an actual 9-1-1
call during the commercial, which you can watch here: http://www.cnn.com/2015/02/02/us/super-bowl-ad-911-call/index.html
This past Sunday I
watched the Grammys (as I’m writing this post I’m realizing I watch too much
television!) They too had a domestic
violence victim speak about her experiences.
What was even more unusual was that President Obama appeared via
satellite to also speak about domestic violence. You can watch what he had to say here: http://www.usatoday.com/videos/news/nation/2015/02/08/23101885/
I’m sure we’ve all
heard the statistics:
- Every 9 seconds a
woman is assaulted or beaten.
- Domestic violence is
the leading cause of injury to women – more than car accidents, muggings and
rapes combined.
- 1:4 women will be a
victim of domestic violence in their lifetime.
I’ve shared in the
past that I grew up in a violent home. Domestic
violence has affected the woman that I am today more than any other influence
in my life, short of my faith. My heart
breaks for the thousands of families who are suffering through abuse. So my question to you this week is,
“Why do you think domestic abuse often goes unreported? Should there be harsher penalties for
abusers? You must answers all questions
for full credit. Answers are due no later
than Wednesday, February 18th, 2015.
If you or anyone you know has been a victim of domestic violence, you
can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE and talked to
a trained counselor 24/7.
I think most cases of domestic abuse goes unreported out of fear of the other significant other. If you are constantly being abused, then the abuser is taking control of your life making you have very little self confidence almost as if your being is getting striped away from your body. It's very hard to get out of an abusive relationship because they have/had a connection that is hard to break even after being abused. Or the ol' "Ill never do it again", or "I promise it was a one time thing", false promises of change that usually lead to more significant abuse. There should be harsher penalties for abusers, this other person is giving you their trust and love and betrayal of that is despicable, not to mention why would you abuse your significant other, like it's just stupid.
ReplyDelete1st
DeleteI think that most domestic abuse goes unreported just for the simple fact that that they're too scared to report it. Or maybe they feel as if they couldn't find someone better than that person even though they're clearly being beaten and disrespected. Also, I think women give out to many second chances in situations like these. They probably feel like there's no way out or no possible way for them to find help without getting hurt even more. I think abusers should face prison time.
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of people do not report domestic abuse because they are scared of what will happen if they do report. Many women are strong and think they can handle situations even if they do result in domestic abuse. I understand if they have children and want to keep their children safe but allowing the situation to continue to occur endangers everyone. Many women also forgive the man anytime he lays a hand on her and makes excuses. I understand trying to make things work but when things lead to violence you need to remove yourself. Also I think many women are unaware of all the organizations to help women that are in a violent situation. I think the punishment should be increase because most likely they will do it again. I also think a mandatory restraining order should be applied.
ReplyDeleteThere should definitely be harsher penalties for domestic abuse. I know that often times domestic abuse will go unreported because the abused will begin to rationize the abue in their mind, or simply be too afraid of the abuser to do anything. I know that when my father was abusing me I was too afraid to tell anyone for fear of what would happen to me if he found out. There are not enough measures in place to protect victims after theyre removed from the environment.
ReplyDeleteThis topic is so widely ranged that there are numerous reasons and answers to both questions. The most logical reason to be found of why domestic violence often goes unreported is because the victim is afraid that the abuse from their partner will worsen if they tell others what happens in their home. Among that reason, there are others situations to consider such as when there is a child involved. Many times a parent will do everything in their power to keep their childs father (or in some rarer occasions the mother) out of jail and in their childs life. Some domestic violence penalties (something I'll include more in my post later) are supervised visits with children and/or termination of parental rights. Even if the abuse isn't being done to the child, if the court believes the child could be in danger based on the abuse between the spouses, action could still be taken. While this would make sense to most, situations often are viewed very different in the eyes of an abused parent. There is also the matter of low esteem in a marriage. The abuser will often mentally trap their partner into believing they are the only person who will ever or could ever love them. This sometimes can further lead victims into believing they deserve the abuse.
ReplyDeleteMy default answer to whether or not I believe domestic violence should have a worse penalty is yes, but let's actually look at what an be done in the very common occasions of real domestic violence.
A domestic violence offense can be charged as either a misdemeanor or felony, the punishment varies based on the abusers criminal history, the severity of the injury, what state you're in, etc. Penalties include community service, fines, anger management programs / interventions, jail time, restraining orders, etc.
The domestic violence statistics stated above shows how often the situations are actually happening. If this is such a widely known problem, why haven't the penalties been taken to the next level?
Community service? Because while an abuser spends so many months picking up trash etc., we don't think he/she is thinking long and hard about how angry they are that they have to take community service because of their spouse? We don't think that anger could be taken right back to their home after the community service is serviced and make the situation worse?
Fines? This is just ridiculous. I understand our country's in debt but this is not a punishment that teaches a lesson in my opinion. You beat your wife? $6,000 please.
Anger Management programs? Domestic violence (I believe) stems from a deeper problem within a person than just anger. It's not like someone who freaks out over a football game. Interventions? Um, who's going to be there? The partner? "I'm concerned about you and why you've started physically beating me up."
Restraining orders? That's basically just a piece of paper. What's the victim supposed to do if the abuser comes around them anyway, throw it at them?
I'm not trying to make a joke out of all of this, I'm trying to emphasize how ridiculous the "consequences" are of domestic violence.
cont.
ReplyDeleteBut that leaves jail time. (The penalties are so scattered depending on the specific situation, that I know I've not touched on all of them. I'm just doing the basics and most common from what I've researched.) Depending on the area you're in, there are different codes for domestic violence. There's a different code for battery, a code that only relates to the abuse of children, a code that simply refers to "spouse abuse", etc. The maximum jail time amount for all of the situations stated above, is only one year. It could be raised or lowered and packed on with probation time etc. depending on the certain situation; but generally, one year. The victims get one year of peace and then have to worry about their abuser getting out and dealing with them then.
I'm not sure how it makes sense to not punish someone until something actually happens. What's the point of having those who are supposed to protect us from these kind of situations if when 9 times out of 10 they can't even do anything until it's too late? But hey as long as they keep playing commercials during superbowls. I guess it somehow makes sense to make the public aware of domestic violence but not be concerned with figuring out ways to prevent it.
I agree with a lot of my classmates responses above.... I think the number one reason why domestic abuse goes unreported is because the victim who is being abused is too scared to venture out for help. The victim is usually threatened by the person who is abusing them... the abuser will say things like "if you tell there will be consequences" or "if you even think about going to the police...." The abuser sometimes will threaten to hurt or harm someone the victim is close to so then the victim is scared for someone elses life and then they don't tell anyone about the abuse. I think abusers do not get punished like they should. I have never heard of a case that a man got abused by a woman... usually its the woman who gets domestically abused. I personally think if someone abuses somebody else physically they should have to serve at least 1-2 years in jail no questions asked. Then after serving in jail, they should have to be on house arrest for 6-12 months. Domestic Abuse is not taken as seriously as it should and that is why I think they should be penalized exactly how I said above if not worse then what I said above...
ReplyDeleteFor me, I believe that the main reason domestic abuse goes unreported is because the victim is too afraid to report their abuser. It could be even worse if they have children. Then, the victim not only has to worry about themselves, but about their children as well. I think there should be harsher penalties for domestic abusers.
ReplyDeleteI think that domestic abuse is not being reported because the one who is being abused is in a very uneasy situation. For example they might love, be attached, or be dependent on the abuser so it is hard for them to report something against them. For the second questions, I think that the punishment for domestic abuse is not as strict as it should be. People who are domestic abusers should be in jail for a few years and after that be watched or in house arrest.
ReplyDeleteThe reason it goes unreported is because the woman is scared for her life, the life of her children, and close family members, he abuser uses threats along with violence to keep control, and the abuser has learned to be this way from a pier"father,grandfather, etc". When it comes to punish the abuser it usually just a slap on the wrist until he kills her. We need to get better roll models for young man and harsher punishment. But one sure fire way is to give him a dose of his own medicine.
ReplyDeleteI think domestic violence goes unreported due to the fear of the significant other. I also believe that many times women believe it was their fault. I read an article the other day about a women in an abusive relationship and she stated that she kept trying to get away and every time he hurt her it was a different excuse. He often said it was her fault, that she didn't listen and a variety of other things. The woman also stated she stopped trying to leave because that was all her and her child had. She was once homeless in New York and said that she was worried that would happen again. I feel that this is a major problem. How are these people finding out that they are telling someone and why after the first time was that man allowed back in the home. I feel that there should be groups that could help women find jobs and housing that are dealing with this situation so that they aren't feeling like they are "stuck" there.
ReplyDeleteI think domestic violence often goes unreported because women are afraid to tell anyone since they still love their abuser. Abused women are afraid to leave because of two reasons: 1. It's because they don't have any other place to go especially if they have a kid and 2. It's because they know that if they leave the abuse is just going to get worse. There should harsher punishments for abusers like there are for other crimes that as brutal.
ReplyDeleteThere are plenty of reasons why abuse often goes unreported. The victims may feel that no one will believe them if they seek help, which isn't helped by the fact that family members of the abuser can often stick by the abuser and accuse the victim of lying and trying to shame their partner. Sometimes the abuser will manipulate them into thinking that the victim can't live without them and they'll go through even more pain if they try to leave. There are cases where the victims have been exposed to the abuse for so long that they have become used to it and think that it's "normal" to be treated that way.
ReplyDeleteI want to point out as well that the statistics show only women who have been abused, not men. Male victims have many of the same issues as female victims, but because most men are assumed to be inherently stronger than women, the fact that they are abused will also make them look weak in the eyes of their peers, which makes it even harder for them to seek help.
Regardless of who is the abuser and who is the victim, I believe there should be stronger laws and heavier punishments for those who commit domestic violence. No matter what the circumstances, no one deserves to be abused.
I think that the reason women don't want to tell is because they are in fear that they maybe physically beaten, or even worse. Nobody has the right to be physically assaulted they have no right over that person's life.
ReplyDeleteYes think that penalties should be more harsher on people who physically abuse others that are weaker then them like women,and children, and elders.
A woman is more smaller than a man, and men are more bigger than women.
And since men have more muscle mass. A man can severally hurt a girl. This kind of reminds me of my aunt.
She was mostly beaten all her life, and one day she couldn't take it anymore, and she shot her boyfriend since he was reaching for the gun himself.
She killed him out of self defense, and is charged with murder. I have several aunts that has been beaten,and even one has been stalked. Also one has been threatened to be killed. My other aunt has a cut on the side of her mouth from her past boyfriend who threatened to kill her with his knife when she was protecting herself. My mom's friend told me that when she was younger that she was with this man who kept on assaulting her.
Since she was smaller she fought back.
And nobody helped her after she was severally beaten. It really angers me when women are battered up and actually feel like she is submissive to a man. Which is not true. And feels like she can't leave him. I think that being in a physically abusive relationship is very dangerous, and life threatening as well.
I don't want that to happen to me. It feels like you can't get out.
In my opinion a person can only physically assault someone else is if it's in self-defense. Nothing else. There is so no reason to ever hit a woman. If a man ever hits a woman he is not considered a man, he is a complete coward! Those are my thoughts.
Incidents of domestic violence often go unreported by victims for the following reasons: victims do not realize they are in a dangerous and violent situation, victims do not recognize the domestic violence signals, victims feel ashamed, hopeless and are in denial victims sense they have no alternatives, victims sense no one can protect them, victims do not know what victim services are available or how they can obtain the services needed. I honestly am not sure if harsher punishments will aid in reducing domestic violence cases. I feel as though a lot of factors contribute to the mindset of the abuser, that the thought of a harsh punishment would not even be taken into consideration prior to the abuse.
ReplyDeleteI think the main reason for abuse to go unreported is fear. Victims are too scared to be injured even more. Another few factors might be because how society loves to blame the victim (Rape, hate crimes) delegitimize the victim's claims ("that's not true, he/she's too nice of a guy/girl to do that!") or romanticize abuse (50 Shades of Gray).
ReplyDeleteI do believe that the penalties should be harsher, but first we have to get it so that the abuser is the one that gets in trouble, not the victim. Too many times have a read accounts of someone defending themselves and then they being the ones punished, this simply has to stop. Now.
If it's woman, they cannot resist to man's physical powers and abuses. Also, they tned to think that they cannot break the family for violence. And waht about children? If there father gone, do they grow up well economically? Those problems are the struggle with victims.
ReplyDeleteI just want to mention about male victim for domestic violence. There are male victim too. If it's male victim, most of people just doesn't believe that they can be a victim.
Women should have zero tolerance for abuse. If the warning signs are there they should leave immediately out of respect for themselves. There is no justification of "but he loves me" or "you just don't know him" or "he will change." These rationalizations just prolong the situation. You can't talk your way out of something that your actions proved otherwise. It happens slowly then all of a sudden. You always have power over yourself, don't let anyone try to tell you that you don't.
ReplyDeleteI think it goes unreported because some people are afraid it ashamed to report it. Also in some cases they depend on the other person for finical support for them and there kids and they know if they report it that support is gone. There should be a harsher punishment and it should go on there record for when they apply for a job it comes up on the background check. And let's not forget men are victims as well it's not always the man to be the victim.
ReplyDeleteI think it goes unreported because some people are afraid it ashamed to report it. Also in some cases they depend on the other person for finical support for them and there kids and they know if they report it that support is gone. There should be a harsher punishment and it should go on there record for when they apply for a job it comes up on the background check. And let's not forget men are victims as well it's not always the man to be the victim.
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of domestic abuse goes unreported due to the victims feeling too scared. Many attackers threaten victims and their loved ones with death while attacking, in order to keep them from calling police. Some victims even still feel as though their attackers love them and treat them well otherwise, so they stay. There are many, very complicated reasons why victims of these situations don't report domestic violence. As of this time, I'm not fully aware of what the penalties are for abusers, but I do believe they should be very harsh. If abusers can spend only a year in prison and then be released, that is not enough time to ensure the safety and rehabilitation of either the victim or the abuser. In my opinion, abusive people will not change their mindset, especially if surrounded by prison violence, so maybe a life time sentence would be appropriate for these kinds of people.
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of domestic abuse goes unreported due to the victims feeling too scared. Many attackers threaten victims and their loved ones with death while attacking, in order to keep them from calling police. Some victims even still feel as though their attackers love them and treat them well otherwise, so they stay. There are many, very complicated reasons why victims of these situations don't report domestic violence. As of this time, I'm not fully aware of what the penalties are for abusers, but I do believe they should be very harsh. If abusers can spend only a year in prison and then be released, that is not enough time to ensure the safety and rehabilitation of either the victim or the abuser. In my opinion, abusive people will not change their mindset, especially if surrounded by prison violence, so maybe a life time sentence would be appropriate for these kinds of people.
ReplyDeleteI think it goes unreported because the female has not been sent to the hospital yet. Seeing and hearing from friends and families that they usually call the police and the male has usually left the house already. I had a friend just last week tell me that her husband got so angry that he put a gun to her head. Now if that was me I would have left the marriage. No one should experience abuse in a relationship and I wish I could help females get out of situations like this. I'll leave the next reader with this.....
ReplyDelete1 Corinthians 13:4-8New International Version (NIV)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.