Recently I was asked to post something regarding same sex marriage. Since we have discussed same sex marriage in class when we covered the Full Faith and Credit Clause, I decided to re-post something I have blogged about before that directly relates to same sex marriage. On a side note, I saw yesterday that Neil Patrick Harris, formerly known as "Doogie Howser", is expecting twins with his partner this fall. The news caused a little firestorm of controversy, so this blog should fit right in!
Efforts to ban gay and lesbian couples from adoption are heating up all across America. Florida has banned same sex adoptions since 1977. In Mississippi, gay singles can adopt but gay couples can not. In Utah, all un-married couples are banned from adoption. Currently, sixteen additional states are considering bans of same sex adoptions, including Indiana.
Opponents of same sex adoptions, often say that children being raised with same-sex parents will have psychological issues, be bullied or teased at school, have unclear gender role models and perhaps even become gay or lesbian themselves.
Supporters of same sex adoptions include the National Adoption Center, the American Medical Association, the American Psychological Association and the American Pediatrics, all of which state that adoptions by gay or lesbian couples do not negatively affect children.
The issue of same sex adoption is one that inspires debate across America and will probably be left up to the courts to decide, however one thing is clear: we all want what is best for our children. So my question to you this week is, “What do you think of same sex adoptions? Why do you feel the way you do?” Answers are due by Tuesday, August 24th.
When it comes to children and providing them with the love that each and every one of them deserves, I would have to say then that as long as the adoptive parents share that common desire, then same sex or not, let the child be adopted. After reading an article earlier this week about a two month old baby having been seen in the hospital with burns from its bath water being too hot and several bone fractures, there is no magical combination of parents (opposite sex or not) that will provide a child with the love and protection they need. The adoption agencies should be focusing more on the ability, maturity, character, etc. of the applicants as too their approval or denial of adopting a child.
ReplyDeleteFirst off I think that if any two people want to get married for any reason they should be aloud too. It is a union between two people because they love each other and love has nothing to do with religion, gender, race, creed, or anything else you can come up with, most of the time it seems that gay people are the only ones getting married for the right reasons anymore. When it comes to adoptions I see no reason why gays and lesbians shouldn't be aloud to adopt as long as they pass the same standards as a straight couple/person, which are standers of living and income ect... When it comes to the kids being picked on for having gay adoptive parents, kids get picked on for everything so that's not even a point of argument that should be used. The fallacy that kids with gay parents will be gay is just ridiculous there have been several studies done that show that homosexuality is not "nature or nurture". Lastly, there are about 500,000 children in foster care and I think they are deserve a good loving home no matter whose home it is, after all "the children are our future"
ReplyDeleteIn no way is it fair. In absolutely no way. You give me one reason why children with no parents at all don't deserve two loving parents, I'll go soak my head. The foster care system is in shambles. The screening process for adoptive parents makes it hard for anyone except the very wealthy to adopt. But with the number of people giving their new borns up, the levels of children are highly outweighing the numbers of adoptive heterosexual parents.
ReplyDeleteSo why not? How does it hurt YOU? It doesn't. It in no way affects you personally. So why oppose it. It's giving orphaned kids a chance to have two parents that love them unconditionally. And anyone who doesn't want that...well..I'm sorry for you.
I personally do not agree with it. As much as people want to say there is no psychological effects, they are full of it. The world is not a perfect place and gay and lesbian marriages are not looked upon with ok eyes, so with that being said why would people think that adoption is? However, in the same breath I have talked to some of my gay friends and they have made valid points for it. For example one of my friends said, and I quote, "Gays and lesbians should be allowed, because there are a lot of babies born with birth defects, mental disabilities, or even multi-racial in orphanages. So being people who are not widely accepted anyway we are willing to adopt these children." So as much as he made a great point, that is not going to change my point of view. I strongly disagree with it and that is how I feel. I understand that there are many children out there without parents, but that doesn't mean they should be adopted and put in a situation that could get them ridiculed, beat up, or even worse because they were adopted by gay parents. My daughter is adopted by my wife and she is picked on because of it. As an adoptive parent my wife gets harassed and questioned all the time about it. Just because we are ok with it and we can tell people to go screw themselves, does not make it any easier or make us less pissed off when someone wants to go and be a jerk. I'm not saying I am avidly against this or would ridicule people who do, however I am saying that personally I do not agree with it.
ReplyDeleteI don't mind same sex adoptions as long as the child has a good home and good people taking care of them then it should be just like when a straight couple adopts a child.
ReplyDeleteI feel that marriage and family was a union made by God for a man and a woman. This was the way that best suits the children that they bring into this world. The woman provides nuturing,cuddling, and all of the softness a child needs while the man provides hard work, strong leaderships skills, and much more. I understand that gay and lesbian couples dont affect "me" but it is not how God intended it to be.
ReplyDeleteI personally do not agree with it! I know some one that has two mothers and she herself is now lesbian. and i feel like it is just wrong there is no strong leader like you get with having a man and same for gay there is no woman to balance out. i truly believe that you a child needs strong influinces from both genders! if that is not how it was suppose to be then women would have been able to get pregnent with women and men with men but you can't!!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Cherise. if 2 guys or 2 girls werent meant to have kids together it would be physically possible, but it isnt, so it shouldnt be ok. I also realize that there are so many willing couples to adopt, but i think that the adoption agencies are right in making it difficult to adopt. The best intrest of the children is the most impoortant thing and they want to make sure that the children will be properly cared for.
ReplyDeleteI am all for any one adopting children, we have thousands of children all over america that need a home and be loved. i still believe that every one should have the same rights and with gays not being able to adopt then they do not have equal rights as every one else. if they really want to know how being adopted by gays effect children then they need to do major research. i do not believe that the children might become gay because being gay is not a choice that people choose. gays can love and take care of a child just as good as any one else. there are also thousands of children born that are unwanted into families and are abused and miss treated so who is to say who is better parents. our children need homes and if gays want to have them and adopt them then let them love them and give them a home.
ReplyDeleteI personally have no problem with gay people, adopting or not. If they love each other then it should be allowed. And since they can't have kids of their own because of that then why can't they adopt kids who don't have a home? Why do these kids have to suffer just because these people don't think it's right? Who is to say this is right or wrong anyway? As for kids getting picked on...well that happens everyday to every kid. It is natural for kids to pick on other kids so what is so different about it? I can understand that it may mess with their heads a little bit but heterosexual parents can do that to their kids too. I just feel that if they are willing to take in an inncocent child with no home and love and care for them then I am all for it.
ReplyDeleteI think that gay and lesbian couples should be allowed to adopt, mainly because I feel that most people that grow up with both parents are still very likely to have psychological issues, we live in an imperfect world. A family can start off with both parents but now days the fathers don't stick around, kids today have a lot of issues and very few, if any have been adopted/raised by gay or lesbian couples.
ReplyDeleteI think the couples of gay or lesbian should be allowed adopt as well. There are many of orphans over world that need someone to care them.
ReplyDeleteI think this era, the gay and lesbian couples had increase and become common. So it should not be deal.
I feel like anyone should be able to adopt, couples of whatever sort and singles too of whatever sort.
ReplyDeleteI'm not saying that they should start handing kids out like suckers at a bank. What I wanted to add to my thoughts on the subject was that it should be really difficult for anyone to be accepted as well.
A good parent, regardless if they're gay or not, should be very understanding and communicate with their child about all types of subjects.
I do believe that there is a good chance that a child raised by gay parents may be bullied because of it, but in any case it seems like you're either a bully or being bullied no matter what.
I was often picked on over many years of middle school (it slowed down in high school) called gay, beaten up in multiple situations in different ways, de-pantsed, and thrown into a dumpster, ect.
... and i've never been gay nor do I have gay parents.
-Craig Smith
I feel that same sex adoptions are fine because as long as both parents are there and they really want to be parents that is ok with me. If they have that love and passion for the children. It's some people in this world that are opposite sex marriages and they are terrible parents. What I'm trying to say is, it doesn't matter if it's a same sex marriage or opposite sex marriage. If they want to be parents and they can prove they can, let them be. All children desire love and the proper care. I feel the way I do because I have meet some children with same sex parents. These children were normal and had no problems. The children were actually really smart and were more alret about things.
ReplyDeletewait... what?
ReplyDeleteDoogie Howser is gay?
I think it is ridiculous to not let two loving people adopt a child because they are gay. It shouldn’t matter. If they can provide a stable and safe environment and meet all the requirements straight couples have to meet then they should be eligible.
ReplyDeleteI think they should be allowed to adopt children because there are so many children out there without homes. I think if they can provide a stable loving environment then it shouldn't matter whether they or gay or straight.
ReplyDeleteI think same sex adoptions are absolutely fine. Who are we to say who can adopt children and who can't? It doesn't make sense, to me, that we (the US) have all of these kids that need great homes just to pick and choose who adopts them based on the parents sexual orientation. I think that for every state representative or judge who turns down a same sex marriage adoption should turn around and adopt 2 orphaned kids. Those kids are the ones they just denied homes to. To me, saying "no" means that they should be willing to take them in and raise them.
ReplyDeleteI don't care who adopts children as long as they are stable and financially able to raise them. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with it. It makes more sense that kids that are raised my same sex marriage couples are more open-minded and culturally accepting.
I really don't think there is a problem with gay couples adopting. The important thing should be is if they are capable of raising a child. There are children out there that need love and care. I do agree that the couple needs to make sure that the child experiences and is open to other things. For an example, if a child has two mothers, they still need a male role model of some kind. Yes, there will be people out there that will judge or make fun of the kid or the parents, but it seems like no matter what situation there will always be people picking on other people gay or not.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure if i agree or not. i have no doubt that gay and lesbian couples can love a child just like another couple can, but you have to think about the child. like heath said there will be repercussions, as much as we'd like to think that people are ok with gay marriage, they arn't. that child will be teased and picked on in uschool. i'm not sure what psychological issues the child would have, because i'm not sure how people are or become gay in the first place.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting topic. My view on it is that same-sex couples absolutely should be able to adopt. I don't believe that because your parents are homosexual, you will be as well. I have many friends who prove this belief of mine right. Lots of people here tried to make the point that the children could be ridiculed for having same-sex parents. While this may be true to a point, I feel that kids these days are becoming more open minded about this subject at a younger age. Same-sex couples will always exist, and unless the US, the freest country in the world, can start to accept that, then yes, there may be concern for children raised by such couples. If people don't start accepting non-traditional family styles now, then it will be just that much longer until every person is accepted for who they are.
ReplyDeleteI forgot to add one more thing as well. As I was reading the other comments, I noticed alot of people mentioning the fact that kids would be made fun of for having homosexual parents. I was made fun of all throughout elementary and middle school simply because my mother was obese, and we lived in a small, run-down home. I grew up to be an accepting individual partially because of these things, and I'm very disappointed to see the amount of colse-mindedness in the world. People are afraid of what they don't understand. And if you don't understand growing up with hardships in your life, then you must be afraid of alot. (Sorry for posting twice..but I feel very strongly about this subject.)
ReplyDeleteI have a good friend that was raised by a lesbian couple. They are some of the nicest people that I know. I would constantly stay over at her house when we were younger and never thought twice about the fact that she had two moms. No one ever teased her or outcasted her due to her parents. She's lead a completely normal life (as far as normal applies to any of us). The fact that people are saying that if kids don't have a mother and a father that they'll turn out gay/ lesbian themselves is total bullshit. Kids are going to do what they want to do and like who they like. I have several friends who have yet to come out to their heterosexual parents because they're terrified that they'll be banned from the house (which happened to yet another friend of mine ) So gays may create more gays, so do heterosexual couples. If the kids grow up in a kind and nurturing environment why should it matter if they are gay or not? Personally i'm glad that at least some good people are adopting these kids. Hopefully they're adopting in America and not some foreign country. We have a horrible amount of parentless kids and if they're willing to adopt who are we to stop them.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I agree with you Laura, I can see the other side also. Its not that alot of people are "close-minded", to me I think its morally wrong. As strong as you wanna feel about it, you have to understand that others have their view as well. To call them close-minded in fact makes you the exact same way. I'm not afraid of what I DO understand. I grew up hard as well as I am sure most people have. But its not that I am "close-minded" to the fact, its that I flat out DO NOT agree with it. You can say whatever you want, but to ME and MY views it's not right. There is no right and wrong in this situation, its all about someone's opinion, the people that do agree with it feel that way because to them it is ok. But to me I just don't like it, it's not right.
ReplyDeleteThe way I look at it adoption saves a life. Would you ask a medic, cop or fireman if he was gay? Would you wait for a straight person to come and save you? I don't care if the couple adopting a child is gay or straight as long as the have the means and maturity as well as emotional strength to raise a child. Also on the effect on the child, well if a Hetero couple can raise a gay child I am sure a gay couple can raise a straight child.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I always find it funny that people want to blame things like same sex adoption and gay marriage for a decay in the fabric of society and our children’s' futures. There are plenty of things out there that are wrong with this country causing that on its own. If a few gay couples are going to raise a child wrong, then they will happily fit in with the rest of the straight parents out there who don't know what the hell they are doing. If two gays raising a child will make them gay, then why sometimes do straight parents raise a child who is gay? Have we not come far enough in society to realize that being gay is not really a choice? Why would someone choose to live such a hard life in our society just for some fetish? I feel there are so many same-sex marriage couples out there who would be great parents just as many of them will be bad parents, it will depend on the person they are on the inside. I get pretty tired of hearing about the discrimination that still goes on. I always think about what my grandchildren will ask me about how life was for homosexuals 60 years ago when I was younger. Honestly, this is the same question I can ask my grandparents about how people of a different race were treated in their time. Why is it so hard to look at our past in such a way to make our future and present better? Maybe I didn't answer the question the way it was intended but these are my thoughts on the topic.
ReplyDeleteI'm am not really opposed to same sex marriage but i do agree that the child may have future psychological problems just because they will most likely be teased by other kids. As long as the child is loved and cared for and raised well, same sex adoption should not be a problem.
ReplyDeleteI am a hopeless romantic and someone who needs proof to believe in something, or to at least have strong feelings towards it. I believe anyone has the right to love and be with who ever they want. I go to Christian Life church that has a more modern feel and is more open to how relationships have changed in out modern society. When it comes to same sex adoption, right now I see nothing wrong with it. I know plenty of messed up kids from families that had a mom and dad. I think it all comes down to how they are raised and if they were really loved. I have friends who were raised with same sex parents and they are perfectly fine. Who are we to judge who can be a parent. Being a parents is one of the hardest jobs in the world and anyone can do it. We need a license to drive a car but raising a child to try and become a productive citizen, anyone can do. That continues to shock me. In the end if child services sees that the two people are happy, healthy, and loving they should get a child.
ReplyDeleteThe opponents of same sex marriages and the hostility towards those individuals are the same people who adhere to bronze age superstitions and are the same people who hardly take the time to step back and recognize that the world has ALWAYS been changing.
ReplyDeletekatiejustice - Why do we need to stick to gender stereotypes? Or have you never seen a man cry, a woman be the bread winner in the family or a father stay at home and take care of his children. Katie, or anyone reading this, can you name me a moral or ethical action that a nonbeliever can't commit that a believer can?
Heath Browning - Is it because of you and your wife's suffering due to society's inability to except your daughter being adopted that makes you appose other people having a family through adoption?
CRiley - Children can be influenced by other people, not just their parents. Just like people can learn morality without having faith. The truth is that these morals, that you deem so important, were invented by humans for the well being of us ALL and not forced upon us.
The natural world explains its self. Acquire logic. It's an insult to be told that without superstition we would not know how to treat one another.
Tl;dr - Name me the moral or ethical action that a nonbeliever can't commit that a believer can?
In some ways I agree with same-sex adoptions and in other ways I don't. I might be more likely to disagree with it if there weren't so many children out there that needed to be adopted. If a same-sex couple can properly take care of a child, then I think it's better for that child than having no parents at all. Spending childhood in foster care is just not good on kids. I think having one stable family is better for a chid than going through foster or not having family at all.
ReplyDeleteKendrick - That is not the reason I feel the way I do about it. I personally do not think it is right. I was just simply giving examples of how adoption, wether it is with straight or gay parents, can be psychologically difficult for a child. I will completely agree that there can be damage due with both straight or gay parents. I am not saying that straight parents have a completely wonderful life all the time. I was just stating that I do not agree with gay couples adopting, and giving examples of some of the crap kids AND adults say about people who adopt. To me a lot of people feel that the world is nothing more than a wonderful world that everyone should be accepted and for everything they do. But look how long it takes for people to change their views. As a matter of fact today marks the right for women to vote. How long did that take? Or slavery to be abolished? Many people feel that it is wrong and much like a Supreme Court not taking a case about it, I don't feel like there has been anything that could help change my view on it. That is the great thing about this country...I have the right to feel however I want about it and so does everyone else.
ReplyDeleteAren't the rewards worth the turmoil? Obviously so and I'm sure you agree.
ReplyDeleteNot voicing your opinions and the reasons for them openly makes it difficult to discuss the issue with others and unintentionally prevents you from developing a deeper understanding for why you feel the way you do. I wasn't challenging your right to the way you feel, or for how much you care about this issue, just trying to get a further understanding as to why you feel the way you do. Another thing I’m you’ve noticed, Heath, is that we too often apologize for our opinions. Ridiculous right?
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ReplyDeleteYes Kendrick I do think people are always apologizing for the way they feel. It's ok people have their opinion and that is what makes the world go around.
ReplyDeleteI think that same sex adoption is just as good as a man and a woman adopting a child. I feel this way because I think that love doesn't have a face or gender for that matter and anyone should be able to adopt a child or be married.
ReplyDeleteI do not agree with same sex, but I also do not have a problem with the people participate in that. I would treat them as I would anybody that I just met. I believe that they could financially support the child. I also believe the child wil go through some problems that other children might not go through. So I dont really know which way I would go. I would most likely look at the situation in all first.
ReplyDeleteI recently discovered that a local business owner that I have looked up to since I started skateboarding in the 8th grade, has two lesbian mothers. I never would have known the difference had I never been told. He grew up without knowing his father, and was raised in a unique way which led to his acceptance to peoples' differences. I feel that if a gay couple is willing to raise and love a child, let them. No family is perfect, does that mean every single family should be banned from adoption? No. I don't think it is fair to judge a persons ability to raise a child based off of their sexual preference.
ReplyDeleteTom Whitesell
ReplyDeleteI feel that same sex adoptions are perfectly fine. If two people that love eachother think that they are ready for a child, then it shouldnt be an issue that they are same sex. I think that it is up to adoption agencys to determine weather or not they have provided a child friendly environment, not weather or not it is a man and woman. If two people love eachother enough to want to raise a child together, then there should be nothing restricting them from doing so. This would be a step backwards in equality if we were to deny gay couples of this.
personally if they want to adopt a child and raise them its their choice. But i do know that they will be bullied and made fun of by other kids and adults. my question is, is the parents ready to put a child in that situation? to me putting someone in a situation that could cause them physical or mental harm should never be done. so i kind of agree to the banning of same sex adoptions, but i also disagree because they as americans should have the same rights as everyone else.
ReplyDeleteI feel that it shouldn't really matter if a child is raised by a straight couple or a gay/lesbian couple. If the child can be raised with love and care, it shouldn't matter who is doing it. I do think, however, that they should be taught at a fairly early age that it's not quite socially acceptable throughout the world, so as to help them avoid being affected by bullies and the like in school. I feel the way I do on the subject because I have a close friend who was adopted by 2 women and she's been very happy ever since.
ReplyDelete