In this class we will discuss same sex marriage, and whether or not gay and lesbian couples should have the same rights when it comes to marriage as everyone else. For this week’s blog, I would like to expand on that issue and discuss same sex adoptions.
Efforts to ban gay and lesbian couples from adoption are heating up all across America. Florida has banned same sex adoptions since 1977. In Mississippi, gay singles can adopt but gay couples can not. In Utah, all un-married couples are banned from adoption. Currently, sixteen additional states are considering bans of same sex adoptions, including Indiana.
Opponents of same sex adoptions, often say that children being raised with same-sex parents will have psychological issues, be bullied or teased at school, have unclear gender role models and perhaps even become gay or lesbian themselves.
Supporters of same sex adoptions include the National Adoption Center, the American Medical Association, the American Psychological Association and the American Pediatrics, all of which state that adoptions by gay or lesbian couples do not negatively affect children.
The issue of same sex adoption is one that inspires debate across America and will probably be left up to the courts to decide, however one thing is clear: we all want what is best for our children. So my question to you this week is, “What do you think of same sex adoptions? Why do you feel the way you do?” Answers are due by Sunday, April 18th. If you haven't already done so, don't forget to file your taxes!
I really don’t see any reason why two loving people cannot get married and have a family. If someone of the same sex fills all the roles of a spouse, then why should they not be provided with the benefits of marriage? As far as same sex couples adopting, it’s true that they may try and influence a child to be gay, but don’t straight parents influence their children to be straight? I think it would be better to have a child in a loving family rather than in “the system.” It is true that the children in same-sex families may get harassed, so there are still many changes in society that would have to take place. The children are the most important factor and should not suffer to make a couple happy. I do hope one day the majority of the issues that divide us will be overcome. One day maybe we will see people and that’s it.
ReplyDeleteI've been trying to decide my stance on this issue for a year or so now, but I still am not completely sure. I like to believe that all gay couples are truly in love and are not wanting to get married for the benefits in our country. First, to make adoption by same sex couples legal, I believe they should be legally married. So, of course, same sex marrage would have to be made legal. I'm not completely certain on the standards for other couples, but I believe that there should be a minimum amount of time that a same sex couple should be married before being allowed to adopt a child. I believe that all children would be better off with a loving family rather than in an adoption agency no matter who the parents are. Of course, they should be mentally, emotionally, and financially stable and responsible.
ReplyDeleteI personally don't agree with same-sex marriages. Therefore I don't agree with adoption of children with these couples in unions or marriages. I think the desire of wanting to raise a child rather than let them grow up with no parents, no childhood experiences, etc is loving and caring, but there are after effects. I believe a man was created to love a woman, beginning with Adam and Eve. If by choice a man loves a man, or woman loves a woman, they have to understand that living that lifestyle doesn't allow them to reproduce. I am a huge supporter of family values. I did grow up in a house with a mom, dad, and brother. I didn't experience any sort of divorce, step parents, joint custody, or any form of a broken family. I have no doubt my happiness now is contributed to that fact. In today's society, I think growing up in a same sex household, children go through more harm than good with ridicule, insecurities, and judgement. People will do what they want and fight for rights, but my personal viewpoint is against adoption of same sex couples.
ReplyDeleteI really don't care about the situation one way or another. I'm all for people trying to scam the government and take their money. But seriously why not let two people who love each other get married. What does gender have to do with love. I think nothing at all really. Getting married shouldn't have anything to do with benifits or money. That's a devotion you make to your partner. A commitment you make to someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. It really piss's me off and makes me sad that most people don't take marriage as serious as it used to be. Everything can be solved with a divorce and prenup now. This doesn't solve anything this just cause's more problems. As far as same sex couples adopting children that honestly might be better than what I had growing up. True the child might be bullied and made fun of. But I'm sure they will go home to a loving household everyday with parents that will talk to them and try to understand their feelings. I was raised by my grandparents. They may be part of my blood but I dont feel like I'm part of a family. My mother left me after I was born and my father I know nothing about. I've always felt alone in this world because of this. Sure a child in a home with same sex parents might have problems. Or psychological problems. I consider myself to have psychological problems and wonders of why things happend the way they did. It's all part of growing up and learning to understand this world and other people. The way I feel is if a same sex couple wants to adopt they want to because they want to give their love to someone who needs it. And to be their for that child in times of need. All I ever wanted and what I searched for once I found out my situation was that love and connection of family. But I never got any of that or found what I was looking for. No mater who you are or what you believe you have to learn to live with shit you don't like or understand. That's part of growing up. So in all it doesn't matter where you come from we all have problems. Some similar some different. But we all have to deal with stress and other things we don't agree with.
ReplyDeleteI don't see a problem psychologically for the child. If any of those "problems" occur in the child then that child is no different than a child than any other child in America. There is no standard for normal anymore. The only major problem I see would be the bullying but every child goes through that, more for some than others.
ReplyDeleteThe real concern people should worry about is what happens to the child if the couple should separate? This raises even more questions like if the child was produced from one of the parents. Then would the other parent have any legal right to see that child? These questions seem more important than if the child will turn out gay or not.
First off, because I am not opposed to same sex marriage - There should be no reason that couples of same sex can not adopt children. I believe that you are born gay or lesbian. Even if a child is raised by a man and a woman, doesn't mean they will be straight. Why would a child that is unwanted be denied a loving home and caring parents, just because they are the same sex. Show me an underprivileged child raised by gay or straight parents that is not teased or bullied just because he doesn't have the nicest things or the coolest new trend.I think the bulling is going to happen whether their parents are gay or straight. As far as the role models go, just turn on a TV and everyone's opinion changes.
ReplyDeleteMonika Hamm
In my opinion it does not matter weather one is a heterosexual or homosexual, we are all simply in search of the same things from life; happiness. In so many words the bible states to marry and multiply, it's just a matter of interpretation on how it is applied.
ReplyDeleteBeing a women that can not have a child be natural means, I see nothing wrong with adoption. For every child is entitled to grow up in a family that cares, weather it be with a man & women or same sex family.
JB
i believe that there should be same sex marriage. I think that if two people love each other whether they are heterosexual or homosexual, they should be able to get married or adopt children. I dont think children will have psychological problems if they are raised by homosexual parents and i dont think they are most likely to be gay or lesbian. Thier are so many kids that have pyschological problems with parents who are heterosexual. So there shouldn't be any excuses as to why gays and lesbians can't get married. People should be more open minded about this whole subject instead of judging homosexuals. They are not any less that heterosexuals so they shouldnt be treated like they are. I have a couple of friends who are homosexual and they are not different from me and they certainly do not have mental problems. they are well educated and have parents who love and care for them like any other child. Also there are so many kids that get bullied and it is not just gay people but straight as well. Bullying is going to happen as some pont and seems normal for every kid to do.
ReplyDeleteI am a supporter of same sex marriage. If two people can be happy together then why not?? I feel homosexual marriages almost have a better chance of lasting since divorce rates are so high. Maybe they can teach the heterosexual couples a thing or two. :) I don't see anything wrong with same sex adoption either. I think children are better off with supportive, loving parents, and if people are adopting... you know they will be good parents; they want that responsibility. Children would be better off with adoptive parents, whether gay or straight, instead of having to be moved around to different foster homes or having to live in an orphanage. There are too many children without parents; same sex adoption is better than no adoption. Give the child a chance to be loved. If anything, I think not having parents would be worse than having homosexual ones. Banning same sex adoption is simply discrimination.
ReplyDeleteI support same sex marriages just as much as I support hetero marriages. I honestly can't see why anyone would differentiate between the two. If two people are truly in love with each other, why not let them openly express it and share the same benefits as everyone else? I also support adoption by same sex couples. One thing I have always had trouble with is when opponents use excuses like the negative effects same sex adoptions will have on a child, but expert councils and associations find that not to be true. If American Pediatrics told you some food was harmful to your child, you would stop feeding it to them. Yet, when told that being raised in a same-sex household has no harmful effects they refuse to believe.
ReplyDeleteAmerica has been growing toward the tolerance of all since this country was created. Along with religion, gender, and race, I truly believe that discrimination based on sexual orientation will be illegal and no longer socially acceptable.
Mississippi, I'm not sure what you're thinking only letting single homosexuals adopt. If you allow that, are you then going to ban that person from being with anyone else? As soon as they start dating, aren't they then considered a same sex couple with an adopted child? :/.
Adam Gading
i am very opinionated on this topic. I was raised by a single homosexual father and it was one of the most confusing things i've experienced. It is like a rabbit raising a kitten. I am heterosexual and very open to how others choose to live sexually, but as far as children go i believe it is important that they have both a Male and Female Parent figure. I do not think that any single person should be allowed to adopt: not only because it is insufficient exposure to parenting (duh, you should have two. one of mine died, and i feel a loss daily from what i should have learned), but also because if one person can afford to raise a child, it will be raised in a artificial evironment unreal to what most of the world experiences.
ReplyDeleteI can't count the times i have been angry or frustrated at what my father did and didn't teach me (could and couldn't). I (subconciously) sought out other father figures who i could relate to, made me feel that i was normal, and could teach and raise a child correctly.
I believe there are two major factors in the debate of same sex couples adopting children. On the positive side, it does support understanding, compassion and empathy of what many are not exposed to, causing education and less hate crimes. On the negative side, many homosexuals approach this as a point to prove despite proven horrible outcomes, revenge for both thier own upbringing and times they have been oppressed, and like most decisions to begin a family is a selfish desire for the parents instead of generosity toward children.
I was bullied excessively, have a list of psychological issues that i deal with daily, and become uncomfortable with how my inherent manners are interpreted, but i am also very tolerant, patient and empathetic as a result of my upbringing.
In the long run, i believe that it should be illegal (from experience) as it violates Amendment 8: Cruel and Unusual Punishment
Unlike many others I don't really care if two men or two women get married to eachother. If these couples are following basic laws and aren't disturding others then why should we as a nation care if there are same sex couples in out country. As alot of people over seas come the States because its the land of opportunity, but as a nation we willn't give our own fallow americans the right to marry who ever they love because its of the the same sex. Some people say well the church says its wrong, so it must be wrong. My only question is all the churches talk about the seven deadly sins and the last time I checked getting married or getting in a realationship with the same sex wasn't one of the seven deadly sins but one of them is to bring hate upon one and slowly that is what our nation is bringing to these couples "HATE"!!! So its not them, its the nation thats in the wrong. Finally not allowing the same sex couples to not be able to adopted a child. I do agree that anybody thinking of adopting a child should go under a certain test to make sure they meet the guideslines and they would be a fitting family, because lets remember these are kids that their real parents were unable to take care of them. Instead of putting these kids through foster care until their eighteen. I believe that same sex couples have the same amount of rights to adopted then those who are different sex couples, even if theats not beign true. I truly think the only way these issues are going to fixed is that all the states agree on certain guidelines on these issuse that our country is facing today.
ReplyDeleteI don't feel there is any problem with same sex marriage or same sex adoption. Anyone that wants to adopt a child in America has to prove they are fit to be parents.
ReplyDeleteSexual orientation does not determine morality and should make absolutely no difference in a persons right to adopt.
Heterosexual parents are just of capable of producing children with psychological issues as homosexual parents.
live and let live
J. Parsons
I have nothing against same sex adoption. As long as the couple creates a loving home, I don't know why people have to make such a big deal out of it. There are so many children out there that need a caring environment. If a couple is fit to be parents, then I don't see the problem. I have even heard that children of homosexual parents have a more open mind. They are more accepting of others and not as judgmental. Granted, they may be bullied at school, but only because that bully doesn't understand the child's situation. Maybe heterosexual parents could learn something from homosexual parents. As for them having more psychological issues, I think that's as much possible for them as any other child. I believe just because they are different, people will look for something to be wrong.
ReplyDeleteOnce again Texihoe = Ross Riley
ReplyDeleteI belive that gays and lesbian partners should have all the same rights as heterosexual relationships including adoption. I have a friend with two moms and she is as normal a person i have ever met. Which only goes to show that same sex couples can raise there kids just as good as normal couples. I also belive that they should be able to get married and have full rights in that regard. Times are changing this isnt the 40s anymore our society has changed drasticly in the past 20 years and this is just another thing that should change. As a person who was adopted myself i could see myself being raised by 2 men or 2 women and im sure i would be the same person i am now.
I don't feel their is anything wrong with same sex adoptions. Their are so many kids in the system without parents and a large section of people who can't have kids willing to provide for them, I think it would be prefect to put these groups together. I feel as long as you can provide a loving environment and care for a child financially you should be given a chance to raise a child. Their are heterosexual couples with neither that have the right to raise children, so to say a same sex couple with all the things needed to care for a child can't seems crazy to me. I just don't feel having two mommy's or daddy's is as bad to a child as not having food, clothing, or a livable place to stay.
ReplyDeleteI'm on the fence on same sex adoptions. This has to be one of the hardest subjects for me. I was brought up in a home that is very religious and very closet minded about the subject, but not hateful. I would like to try to be more open minded with homosexuality. Being very religious its really hard to get used to it, not going to lie. I do have friends that are gay if that's right word, and I don't judge someone for who they like men or women. Adoption is even harder because you bring children in the mix, but if they are bring brought up by loving parents I say yes, because there are a lot of children that don't even have a good home. They might be missing a mother or father figure in their life, but I don't know. It may not even affect them just because they have two moms or two dads, at least they would be more open minded. At this point I don't think I have a right to tell someone what they can or can't do, or how they should live their life's.
ReplyDeleteI believe in any situation for any couple, gay or straight, NEEED to be in a stable financial standing, family oriented, career driven and have all best intentions in the child or children wishing to adopt. I agree with other posts that adopted children will become more open minded and cultured with gay/lesbian parents. A child will be more matured in ways in the classroom, and yes could be bullied in school but what child isn't?
ReplyDeleteI believe in same sex adoptions. I believe as long as you have two loving parents that can give the child a loving home and support that that child needs, I see nothing wrong with it. As far as psychological problems, I do not feel it comes from having two same sex parents.What about having a heterosexual parent who is a child molester or one that verbally or physically abuses the other parent. Does that not cause psychological problems with the children involved in those situations? As far as teasing and being bullied at school,that goes on all the time and it is not just because that child has two same sex partners. I have seen children be teased because their parent is obese or might not look average. Children are often teased because they are somewhat different, maybe they are over weight or shorter than most, or maybe they are missing a limb. The simple truth is that children can be very cruel toward other children and they usually learn it from their heterosexual parents.
ReplyDeleteAs far as same sex marriage, it is a free country and if two women or even two men want to be together then the sky is the limit. When it comes to the right of a man and a women v.s. a man and man or a women and a women the rights are different even though we all should have equal right. I believe its the same when it comes to black and white people. They say we have equal rights but we really do not. People see same sex marriage as a problem but in all just be because I like fish more than i do chicken doesn't mean I no longer have the right to buy chicken. (if that makes any since)
ReplyDeletetheres obviously your positives and your negatives. there obviously should never be a problem for couples that want to raise a child and can raise them in a loving comfortable environment. but obviously there are those who want to abuse the system just to get benefits. there are so many parts to the equation than its difficult to decide exactly where you stand. i feel that as long as the couples can prove they will be excellent parents there should be no problem, it is true that the child may have a difficult social life like perhaps getting picked on at school but i think that society today is a little more excepting that we were. but i agree that it should be illegal for those seeking benefits. the only way to do this would be to implement some kind of monitoring on the couples but then we're going into all sorts of privacy violations. overall i'm still unclear where i stand because there's just so many variables that i cant come to a satisfying solution, only time will tell.
ReplyDeleteI really don't have a problem with same sex couples, I honestly don't think it's right but it doesn't really bother me. But as for same sex adooptions, I'm not to sure if I agree with that. I can see where people are coming from if they feel it will confuse the child. I just feel that a child really probably shoudn't be raised around that. Yes it can confuse them, and what if they grow up with a totally different view on same sex couples, that could ruin alot of things, and then you'll have very strong different beliefs in the house which could cause alot of problems.
ReplyDeletei can see where both sides are coming from as far as their concerns for the children, but i believe that stopping a couple from being able to adopt a child is wrong. if the couple is willing to love the child(ren) and raise it(them), then why stop them from adopting the child(ren). that just leaves more children to be raised by the system in orphanages.i believe that same sex couples should have the right to adopt a child, or children, if that is their wish.
ReplyDeleteJaMarious Phillips
I am not opposed to the marriage of same sex or their adoption of children. It is my belief that no one is exempt from being a good or bad parent and humans can and will make mistakes no matter the circumstance. If the right is passed or denied I doubt it would stop any problems or solutions when it come to childcare and adoption.
ReplyDeleteI completely support same sex relationships. I feel we live in a free country and we all have the right to chose what we want in life. I believe that it shouldn’t be a problem if same sex couples are committed to each other and want to grow old together. Choosing your better half is an absolute personal preference and I don’t think it is right to oppose it.
ReplyDeleteAs far as same sex adoption is concerned, I am totally for it. There are millions of children out there in need of shelter. It’s great that same sex couples want to raise them as their own and give them a healthy life. I don’t see any problem with it. I don’t think it really matters if the child is raised by a man and a woman or by a same sex couple. Again all that child need is a happy and caring environment and it is totally up to the child of how he/she wants to live his/her life and at what conditions. We are no one to stop anyone from what they want to do in life and how they want to live it!
Sajal Dhingra
All of my life as far as I can remember I have been homophobic because of homosexual assault that was attempted on me when I was younger by a teenage neighbor. I grew up hating gay men. Gay women dont bother me the way gay men bother me. Because of what I had expirenced as a kid I was totally against anything gay, seeing gay men reminds me of when I was five years old and it makes me angry. I cant say that all gay men try to take advantage of little boys, but quite honistly because of what happened to me I feel that it's possible that they will. What happened to me I feel is too graphic to share, but because we are adults and I'm not ashamed to talk about it I will share it. There was no penetration of anykind but there was a neighbor who attempted to make me give him oral sex. Even though I was five years old I knew it was wrong, everything about it felt wrong so I told him no. He was a teenager and much bigger and faster than me. I tried to run into the house and tell my dad and the kid grabbed me. At that time he had a friend near by and his friend came over and helpped him attempt to make me give him oral sex. His friend held me while he rubbed his dick on my face trying to put it into my mouth. I remember crying and them laughing. Before I knew it I hit the ground real hard and I did not know what was going on. My dad heard me screaming and came out of the house and started beating the teens up real bad. The one holding me got away but the other one didn't get away. He lived next door to us. The bad part is that it's not like I was down the street when it happened nor was I in his house. I was playing in my back yard where I was only aloud to play when he came over and assault me. So I know this might upset some gay people and quite honistly I don't care. I'm not against gay marrages, I am against gays adopting kids. I am afraid for the kids and what they could possibly go through. I mean this was just a neighbor and for the rest of my life I have to live with this issue. I do everything I can to protect me kids even my step-daughter who is 13. I know I cant watch their every move and I know that it can happen from people that we trust who are close to us. May God forbid it happens. I will kill the person and anyone who has anything to do with someone abusing my kids sexually or in any kind of way. I'm not saying that my dad didn't love me enough to kill them for what they were doing to me. I feel like if he haddnt come to my rescue when he did it might have given him time to get a gun and I would have witnessed murder at five. When I was in the Army gay men were beat up on and though I didnt feel that beeting them up for being gay was right I still felt like that had better not come in the shower when I was in there or I might have participated in the beatings my self. I remember when I was in the 7th grade I went to a boys scout camp and this older guy told me that if he catches me in the shower that he's going to do something to me. I did not know what he ment at that time. To this day I dont know. I assume that he was talking about raping me so for four days camping I did not shower and went home stinking. So yeah gay men upset me. I'm cool when they stay in they place and I'll keep praying that I can accept them for who they are as I want people to accept me for who I am. I feel convicted about disliking gay men because I discriminate against them. I would hate for someone to discriminate against me. But some beliefs I will stand strong on.
ReplyDeleteI mean I have a gay little sister, I do not hate gays but I do feel that there is a chemical imbalance in the brain. I watch my sister struggle with it because I feel truley that she was born gay. Thing is she wishes that she wasnt gay and says that one day she would like to be married to a man and have kids. I guess to sum things up Gays can do what they want as far as marage goes. But like Andrew said its way too confusing to innocent kids and gays should not adopt.
Eric Shelton