Then just two weeks ago, I read about another similar case in California in which three 16 year old boys sexually assaulted a 15 year old girl and also posted pictures of the attack online. The victim, devastated from the attack and the subsequent shame of having the photos disseminated, hung herself eight days later.
These are just two of thousands of the stories across the country involving rape and sexual assault. Consider the following shocking statistics from the World Health Organization:
- 1:5 women in Indiana will be raped in their lifetime
- 44% of women in Indiana will endure sexual violence other than rape
- Victims are 3 times more likely to suffer from depression
- Victims are 13 times more likely to abuse alcohol and 26 times more likely to abuse drugs
- Perpetrators
have only a 4% chance of being arrested, prosecuted and convicted of rape and
sexual assault. Only a 4% chance!!
As I mentioned last week, April is sexual assault awareness month. We simply have to do more to stop this epidemic of violence against women. So my question to you this week is, “What do you think could be done to raise awareness about this issue and to help stop sexual violence against women?” Really think about it! Ladies – we’ve probably all been told not to accept drinks from others, walk alone late at night and/or wear revealing clothes. That doesn’t get at the heart of the issue. How will you teach your daughters, sisters and nieces about this issue? Guys – I’d love to hear more about what you’ve been taught growing up about rape and sexual assault as well. Answers are due no later than Wednesday, May 1st, 2013.
As a victim of sexual assault (it happened a very long time ago, long enough for me being able to actually talk about it now) I think the idea is that everyone (not just specifically men because believe it or not men can be assaulted/abused/raped. The numbers for men being sexually assaulted/abused/raped are very low, but mostly because a majority don't report it due to being seen as "less of a man") needs to be aware that when someone says no, is unconscious, or is under the influence of drugs or alcohol, regardless of gender, the answer is still no.
ReplyDeleteMost people are aware the sexual violence attackers are men, when really it can be anyone. My attacker was female, and I never thought to report it because I thought "it didn't count" because it wasn't a man that did that to me. I think as a society we perceive a potential attacker as someone who is waiting in the shadows, but in most cases it really is someone you know... it was in my case. I think ways to raise more awareness/stop sexual violence is to stop perpetuating rape culture.
Rape Culture occurs every time when:
A rape/assault case is not reported,
When rapists/attackers do not get the jail time they truly deserve,
When colleges or high schools are hostile to the victims,
When rapists can SEEK custody in the majority of US states (In 31 states convicted rapists can sue for custody and visitation rights.)
When politicians actually think you cannot get pregnant from rape.
It's the idea when someone makes a rape joke and you take offense to it and they tell you to "get over it" or when a woman has to consider carrying a firearm or some form of protection with her in order to feel safe just in broad daylight. There is major inequality going on when it comes to sexual violence, why does a woman have to worry about getting violated coming back from a bar at night but not a man? It's an issue that shouldn't just be about women, but for anyone. I'm not trying to make anyone here uncomfortable/paranoid, I just want to bring awareness that sexual violence isn't just a "women's issue" it should be everyone's issue. Being taught at a younger age about being respectful of others is a starting point for how to end rape culture.
For me it basically just boils down to one idea (pardon the language):
Regardless if you have a dick or not.. just don't be one.
There could be many ways to help awareness for sexual assault. This issue could be related to people who grew up with a parent or parents that assaulted one another, and as a child growing up in that kind of environment they think that it is alright. Me personally, I learn it as an experience on how not to treat people because I know what's right and what's wrong even if it's by just my own belief. Another Scenario could be involved with friends to where you could see one friend, or multiple friends, sexually assaulting a victim and as a friend that you are trying to be is to just let it happen and as the norm of the people you are with you may or may not start copying their behaviors.
ReplyDeleteI believe that sexually assaulting someone is a horrible thing to do to anyone and I think a better way to stop it is by learning about not just at school, but as home as well. Parents and teachers need to talk to children and explain to them what is right and what is wrong. They should show them examples and scenarios that could then be asked, "Would you like to see this happen to any of the people that you care about?" Then as a friend I believe that if you see one of your friends sexually assaulting someone, then you should stop them because a real friend or good person wouldn't let someone do something horrible. The best message to fully grasp sexual assault awareness though is how your home life is because that is where everything comes from.
I never been or don't know anyone who has been sexually assaulted but I know that if I was and knew if anyone else was then I would encourage them to tell everyone what happened because it may feel horrible but it will feel even worse if nothing is said. Plus it would be "really" nice to have the person actually go to jail for something that horrible.
P.S. Noelani, LOVE your last comment at the end! :) lol
Yes, we must teach our children to say no, to not talk to or get in vehicles with strangers, to not walk around at night alone, but I think that we often forget to talk about having RESPECT for one another as human beings and what that means as well as addressing our culture's relationship with violence (mental/physical/emotional/sexual, etc).
ReplyDeleteAlso, as far as the kids posting pictures online and laughing about it goes (which was honestly the most disturbing part to me), I think that showing the children of the social media age that doing something like this is the SAME THING as bullying someone, and that they do not look 'cool' or what have you, when they do it, then maybe it won't happen as much.
It seems that also along with the usual 'don't talk to strangers' and such, parents should teach their kids what the right thing to do is when someone is passed out drunk, what not to do when they drink (don't get plastered with people you know aren't going to have your back if something happens), and to remember most of all to have respect for themselves and for other regardless of their high school's phony and ridiculous social standards.
If the next generation had a stronger foundation in REALLY understanding respect and violence, then you could very well see a drop in crimes like the ones that were stated. As for right now, reeducation of our current culture on the topics of sexual assault and related topics is also vital step forward.
We need to teach children to use the word "no" firmly when dealing with these situations and have them know what to do if they see it happen to another person. We are taught from a young age to not be by our self in strange places, to not talk to creeps, and to not accept anything or do anything with a stranger. Most people today think they can get away with sexual assault because we see it in everyday media and happen around us, even at school and no one reports it because they are embarrassed/scared. I agree that doing this is the same as bullying and we need to teach children respect for both young girls and boys. Parents play a big role in this. They need to have a more in depth talk about this with their children so they know what to do if they ever are in this situation or see it happen. I think both women and men need to taught how to respect one another. Having a discussion about it and a "what to do if..." plan would help.
ReplyDeletethis is a pretty rough subject. Honestly I think if the country wanted to raise awareness for rape and sexual assualt they could very easily do it (stick some informative ads in prime time commercial breaks with acurate statistics), but it is easier to rally the country towards gun control or immigration. The truth is our country isn't the slightest serious about raising awareness about this subject (i'm willing to bet a number of politicians are guilty of sexual assualt themselves). I don't remember having to be taught not to rape- I had seen enough hero movies as a youngster to know this was a vile disgusting thing. My sister has been a victim and the scumbag isn't in jail, it makes me sick. That's how this country works- it's a sure thing for someone to go to jail for stealing a tv, but rape someone you'll probably be home for dinner. Priorities is effffed up round here
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, we live in a very apathetic society. A lot of people would just look the other way if they saw a woman being sexually assaulted. I'd like to think I wouldn't be one of those people. I was raised on Nintendo games and Disney movies, so I'm one of those guys who will go out of his way to treat a young lady like a princess. That's all I've ever known. The only way to really raise awareness about sexual assault is through the media. I know Oprah and Ellen Degeneres and Anderson Cooper all cover that sort of stuff on their shows pretty often, but I feel like that's the tip of the iceberg for what can be done to raise awareness about it. Like Joe said, maybe some advertisements about it, especially during the month of April, would help. Have more talk show hosts talk about it, addressing audiences about it and talking to victims who are brave enough to come forth about it. Regardless of what approach is taken, it needs to gain national awareness.
ReplyDeleteTo me this is a very hard topic to discuss. I feel as if every girl I have ever been close to and or cared about has had to go through the horrible crime of rape and it sickens me. Hate to the highest degree is all I have for such bastards that commits such acts. To keep a good self awareness when it comes to this people should try to not go to far in any unknown place alone. Have someone you know without the shadow of a doubt you can trust like a battle buddy that will watch over you. Im not saying you have to always hold onto someone elses pocket when you walk out the door but be aware on who you can trust and cant.
ReplyDeleteWe must teach our friends, teachers, and family the importane of respect, and to always go with your gut feelings. When going to parties, hanging out with friends, or just mingling among company, you tend to know who and who not to sit with. That's your gut feeling, and you must listen to it always because you can always stop a situation from happening to yourself, or another person by just being more aware of your surroundings or just having compassion to not want something bad to happen to someone else.
ReplyDeleteRespect is hard to gain. You have to have trust, care, and experiences with someone to really say,"I respect you as a person, and would not do anything to cause you harm,". However, not everyone sees that. People buddy up quickly, and tend not to care about you as much as you think they do. It's simply you're there, and you're fun, but in the end you didn't mean as much.
Parent's need to have a more open discussion with their daughters and sons. For the daughters, tell them to always be strong and understand not everyone is looking out for your best interests. For the sons, something should be said about how would they treat a woman if they were in a relationship. Certainly find them examples of how they themselves would like to be treated, and note that they always deserve the best, not just because they're the parent's children, but because you should never have to do something you don't like or are not ready for.
Ultimately, self-respect as well as respect for others would help combat this issue, and raise more awareness.
I find it utterly appalling when I hear about these rape crimes and when the perpetrators get out scott free. It is embarrassing as a country and as a human race. It is crazy when "boys" commit these crimes and the school, neighborhood, and police don't punish them and just end up punishing the victims. These crimes have to be stopped being overlooked.
ReplyDeleteI definitely think we as a country seem to mostly focus on teaching young females about rape and that they need to be carefull. I believe that young men need to be taught to respect women and that to rape someone is extremely wrong and should never be committed.
Most rape cases are indeed committed by someone the victim knows. that is another think that needs to be put into awareness.
What could we do to raise more awareness and prevent further sexual assaults? Raise stronger women who know how to better spot potentially dangerous situations. I have a friend who was raped a few years ago and nothing was done because 1. She was legitimately dating the man who raped her 2. She waited too long to go to the ER so the rape kit didn't reveal anything substantial. We need to teach young women and girls to love themselves so that they are more critical about who they choose to date, and they need to understand that the sooner authorities are involved in an incident, the better. I think that as children age, self-defense concepts should be introduced as an option instead of kickball. Young men and boys shouldn't be excluded from these conversations about rape and other sexual assauts either; the emphasis that anyone can be a victim of rape should be strengthened.
ReplyDeleteNo means no. The bottom line and what should be struck through the hearts and minds of all men. Power is abused all day everyday by men everywhere, and its a god damn shame. Most of these men know they can over power some girl and know they can get her drunk and take advantage of the situation. My least favorite thing to see is the guy at the bar or club feeding girls shot after shot and then takes her stumbling out-of-her-mind self home. "Did that girl even know what she did?"
ReplyDeleteI would be completely okay if it was legal for girls to be able to give their a attackers a warning stab with a knife. Don't threaten a knife, just pull it out and stab the guy if he gets in a sexual attack mode. The girl could get a little blood thirsty after that though and begin a guy stabbing spree, but if a guy was trying to rape a girl, then stab him right under the ribs. If only all girls had the heart to stab someone.
I'm also not against a high school class that teaches sexual self defense. Something that would actually be useful to girls in high school. It can be optional but highly recommended since an ancient Chinese Martial Arts master teaches the class. It can't really be a gender discriminate class, but guys should be made fun of if they think about taking that class to discourage them, leaving it just for girls. Or if back when home-ec was only girls taking it, it could have really been a secret martial arts class. I'm not trying to sound sexist, but these girls need to have a one up on these dudes at all times; if rape and sexual assault is so prevalent.
I have friends and family who have suffered from sexual assault, which is shocking to know so many people who have gone through horrible things. Some have gotten over it and have only one thing to say, "Life if fucked up". Two of my sisters were sexually assaulted when they were real young, it's been over ten years and they still aren't okay with it. I can't even imagine.
So yeah, girls, get to stabbing. I think that's fair. If he doesn't stop, then keep stabbing. But don't be like that chick who's on trial now for over killing her boyfriend. She looks like a psycho, you can see it in her eyes.
Rape is a hard issue to talk about. I feel if a girl gets raped there are procedures to go though. For example say they get raped without protection. Then the first place they should go to is a doctor and get check for diseases. If I were a parent and had a daughter I would talk to her about it as best as possible. Such as watching out for signs that its going to happen. There are so many was of explaining rape but none of them are easy to talk about.
ReplyDeleteBeing raised, my Dad always taught me that women deserve my respect and no means no. I think that it takes a special kind of person to treat a woman in this manner. The type of person that feels powerless or is constantly put down in their life. The type of people that sexually assault women are mentally ill. They perform these deeds for a psychological satisfaction more-so than a physical satisfaction. Stronger women are not a mention for bigger men. You cannot expect a 100 lb woman to be able to overpower a 200+ lb man (if I dare call them that).
ReplyDeleteI think that women should carry concealed firearms. This completely eliminates a 100+ lb deficit. A concealed firearm would allow them defend themselves were they caught in a situation that required it. I honestly don't even believe that they would need to shoot the perpetrator. As I said earlier, these people are looking for a psychological satisfaction of feeling powerful or in control and having a firearm pointed at them would likely induce fear or make them feel out of control or powerless. The adverse effect would probably make them simply run away. Although the option to shoot is still available if necessary. Firearm training would be one of the few things that could help reduce the risk imposed on women and I think it would be the best solution.
Well to start off parents should teach their kids respect and common sense at a young age. Without respect people will just treat each other like crap. If a man or a woman gets raped they should report the case without being ashamed. Get revenge on that person, report them and let the world know that they are a rapist. Let them feel some of your pressure. I think there should be a law that allows people to get free restraining orders against these rapist. Media should be use to spread the awareness and most importantly people need to learn to be responsible. In the world of today a lot of people aren't very responsible and that's a problem.
ReplyDeleteI say it's bigger than a community, bigger than just the country, but pretty much the whole world. Rape is a touchy subject to me because of different factors in a situation. And in my opinion; The only way to prevent from becoming a victim, is to avoid the situation itself.
ReplyDeleteYet in order to prevent situations such as rape now a days, I feel it will take more than just some protests, a fancy ad on television, and a letter to Obama.
A solution, is only as good as the people we place those responsibilities on; and so fa; and that too, I feel they haven't done a good job across the board... Especially with Rape.
The issue has been around since biblical times, and been so prevalent since then; that now, in some aspects of our Pop culture in America, Rape is glorified. It may take individual consciousness to change in order for the world to change. Yet, the problem is that kind of revolution has to start in the community, and everyone is too scared for their lives to turn around and face the problem; we rather depend on the government to solve it... And when has the government solved a problem?
I think one of the biggest issues is that people are afraid and feel ashamed about what happened.they need to do to be able to talk to someone without feeling like they're being judged, being able to feel like it is okay to let someone know what happened. Also social media should broadcast more about the issue giving statistics and the guidelines to avoiding a situation and also maybe how to tell if a situation will occur. there could be a program setup that could go to high school that give out bags as a type of safety kit giving information about what you should and shouldn't do.
ReplyDeleteI will teach my daughters how a man should treat a woman, and how to be aware and protect them selves.That is all you can do really, besides hunting the boy or man who did it and killing them yourself. Parents should teach this to there children at a young age, the whole "Good Touch Bad Touch" and to not approach or talk to strangers.My mother taught me that ans that is what I will teach my children. I think a big part is teaching you children and being honest about what happens to people in the real world.
ReplyDeleteGrowing up I was always told not to trust anyone, from teachers to the creeper down the street. Most people think I'm crazy when I tell them I trust no one but to me the devil puts demons in those closest to you to hurt you, thus I trust no one. Also, I was raised by a Command Srg. Major in the U.S. Army and a trainer in the Ranger schools so self-defense was open and taught. I was told not to get in a situation that puts myself in danger (use your head). Yes, I go out to drink but not enough for me to lose awareness. Know your surroundings, what people are around you, and get a feel for them. Sad to say that you have to treat everyday life like a battlefield but its getting to that point. Know ways to escape when you enter a room and be prepared for anything because anything can happen. I feel if schools had an open self-defense class at young ages up and people were taught how to judge situations that would help a lot more. I know you want to feel safe at your friends party, but in reality its just as dangerous as any open club.
ReplyDeleteI was never really taught much about rape and sexual assault, statistics wise, while growing up, might be because I'm male or something like that. I do , however, have the common sense to know that rape is wrong though and no means no. I have gone out several times hoping to get "lucky" but I know that if she says no, then it's not gonna happen so I move on with an awesome night with friends. I do agree though that there should be more awareness because I believe that people think rape only happens in certain areas with certain people when in reality it can happen anywhere with some people you may not even suspect and I think that's what needs to be addressed.
ReplyDeleteI think it takes two parties. As awful as it sounds, women have to be careful. For instance, if someone is dressed with their goods barely hidden and plans to walk home in almost pitch black, then their chance of being raped is higher. That's a sad fact of our society. Too though, I think there are "triggers" that put someone in higher risk. As a woman, we're taught at a young age what not to wear, to go, not to walk alone. We're taught how to prevent ourselves from being raped. That right there is, 'scuze me, fucked up. Why does it have to be dependent on us?
ReplyDeleteI've always wondered if males are taught how not to rape. I've read (and seen) a few articles and whatnot on how to help prevent rape and this idea is one of them. I honestly believe men can get raped as well, but this never comes up in talks among women. Men can rape men. That's understood. But women raping men? It's happened and continues to happen. Which leads me to believe, this is something that should be discussed when we're learning about rape as children--how it happens between all genders.
I think...to get the statistics down, it's about teaching and informing people. Like, I can't remember the last time a health teacher talked to us about rape. Maybe my freshman year? It's definitely something that should come up more often, and not focus entirely on women.
The leading fundamental controversial 'rape' education taught at my school was, the leading idea of consent: which is inherently easy to determine when the case arises. There is no vague grey area, both genders are entitled with the responsibility of asking. In correlation we were also taught to see women's 'humanity,' rather then viewing them as a desirable or rather sexual object of both pleasure and lust. Could this be the reason why women are shamed into silence, because she feels that in a sense she has been dehumanized? Consent education, the most considerable education that each men should have: starting at a young age.
ReplyDeleteI think it's so sad that most sexual assault victims are treated in a way that makes them seem like they deserved how they were treated, all because people don't want to believe that bad things can happen to good/normal people. I think we need to focus less on how people should defend themselves, and more on how rape is so hurtful and intolerable, and should never been seen as the victim's fault no matter what. I think action should be taken against those who raped, and also those who played a part in spreading videos and photos, because they all played a fairly equal part.
ReplyDeleteI think rape and sexual assault is absolutely appalling. Growing up I learned to respect women and always make sure that they are out of harms way.
ReplyDeleteI think they are many ways to help make everyone more aware of rape and sexual assault. However I don't think that this is the thing we are not promoting enough. I think the main thing is that i think everyone thinks that it can't happen to them. That there is a slim chance that it could ever happen to them. When in reality the chances that it could happen are quite high especially if they are not aware of the ways that they could protect themselves from such attacks.
We should focus more on how to make people more aware that it really could happen to anyone. once they realize that then we can focus in on how to help people prevent it.
I think it's disgusting how frequently sexual assault happens in society. The problem with how we are taught about sexual assault is that it's a man assaulting a woman, when it can be anyone assaulting anyone. We need to clarify that anyone can assault anyone, no matter the gender. We also need to teach them ways to fight off a sexual assaulter, and how to avoid the chances of being sexually assaulted. Possibly giving free classes of on safety procedures on what both men and women can do to protect themselves.
ReplyDeleteAs a victim of sexual assault I was completely aware of the possibilities and tried to keep out of the situation however, the thing I was always taught was to have a 'wing-man' or 'battle buddy' to watch your back. The situation I was involved in I had a 'battle buddy' that left me. So I believe that raising awareness of what a 'battle buddy' is and what situations people should avoid. They should also have actual victims of sexual assault go and talk to the young adults to make them more aware of how it effects the victim in both negative and positive ways. Honestly I will teach my daughters, sisters and nieces by sharing the experience and also telling them if they are going to go party and do the normal teenage things to do it around me so I know they are safer than if they go somewhere else. I will also have to teach them to avoid the situations and try to convince them to just stay home to do that sort of partying.
ReplyDelete